It would appear today, that I now have a new project in the works. It was not exactly planned. But suddenly, it was there, and it began with only a thought that opened up like a floodgate.
I’ll back up a little bit. For years, I’ve had the tiniest inkling of a desire to write some devotional material. I even had the opportunity a couple of years ago, when a friend posted a request looking for devotions that would be combined for a devotional as a fundraiser. As much as this intrigued me, my mind went immediately blank. Maybe I just plain chickened out. Oh well.
So here we are now, at the beginning of a new year again. A time for new beginnings, new resolutions and often new projects. In my year of “it’s all about me” (but oh not really!) there are so many woulda coulda shoulda thoughts and desires coming to surface. Some might call them resurrected dreams. In a large part, it’s my coming to the realization, that I’m just not getting any younger and timing is running by ever so swiftly. And frankly, I’m tired of putting everything off for when the time is right, when this or that happens (like children growing up and moving hahaha), when I have enough money, when the kids are out of college, etc., etc., etc. When all the pieces fall in place. Well… no, not anymore.
My oldest are 26 and 27. Eldest “moved out”, though most of his belongings have not moved one inch from his room; Second eldest is planning on moving out-of-state in late May, after she and her big brother finally graduate from their long round about higher education. Numero tres has suddenly begun the process to resurrect his dream of getting in the gaming industry (testing and designing) which he gave up on almost 3 years ago. Good for him. Change of plans – 2 yr into a 4 yr program and I’ve not even seen the bottom line. And last but not least is the youngest who wants to go to art school, in CA, NY or England or possibly by the beach somewhere in Hawaii, when she can get through high school.
Someday, just isn’t any closer,and I’ve not gotten any younger, nor does it look like extra cash coming any time soon. But this is the year, regardless!! I bought my paints, to join the brushes bought sometime ago, and the canvases I picked up on sale at Christmas – yes, I was working on my own Christmas wish list. I was looking at used cameras yesterday, partly for the youngest, who’s photos are often included on the blog, and partly to fulfill my love of photography. I almost went to school in NY for it, but things fell apart my senior year. I’m knocking on doors I would never had thought to knock on, instead of just waiting for the invites. Someone told me last year that it was time to write and that a door was going to open to do so, and here came my introduction the WordPress. The list right now, is nearly endless, but instead of telling myself no, I’m asking, so when and how do I fit all this in my schedule. There are still some dreams that I have no idea how to accomplish, but I know that the right connections etc. will fall in place. They usually do!
So back to the project. In this time of new starts, the notion of writing some devotions came back to life, almost insistently, and for the first time, seemed plausible. I was pondering where to start and had a plan, and then 2/3 of the household became ill, including me, all the same week that one needed surgery. So all these resolutions nearly came to a screeching halt as I nearly forgot what I was starting just a couple of weeks ago along with the resolve to carry them through. Maybe this is how so many New Year’s resolutions fail! But, the resolve is still there! I’m refusing to be halted or sidetracked! Haha, and I’m doing it for me. 🙂
As a beginning gesture, while killing time while my teen spent time with friends at the mall, I visited BAM (Books a Million) and thought I’d look for a nice journal. An hour, a whole hour, I spent looking for the right journal. Seems silly. But once I have a picture of something in my head, nothing else is going to fill the bill along with my pocketbook restrictions. I ended up with a blank, fairly nice sized one that is purple, my favorite color with the word BELIEVE stamped on it in silver. It has no extra frills, because I thought I had the idea to take frill it up in another manner, and even found the next item needed to do so. By the time I’d picked this up, I’d already had the topics for the first two entries. One of which, I attempted to plot out using the ‘research’ I’d had in hand, while sipping on a fruit smoothie. I left it go till this morning, because, try as I may, I just could not get away from other things to sit down and write!
As I was praying for a request for someone, I suddenly had what I thought would be the next entry. So, I finished fixing my mug of mocha java and headed back to the bedroom to get this started, before I lost my train of thought. But as I was trying to peel the sale sticker off of the front of the journal, BELIEVE caught my eye, and my attention.
It was as if ‘there were somethin on it’ – if you’re prophetic, you understand that thought completely. It like one of the burning bush, turn aside and pay attention moments. Funny, I just looked at the cover again, and here the word’s printed in white, not silver. hmmm. But my attention had been had, and I began to inquire as to why this was getting my attention, and what was I to know. I started with, what does it mean to believe? In John, he uses the word believe in a manner to suggest that we are to believe, and keep on believing. But anyone who’s gone through anything tough, knows how hard that can somehow be. Before I knew it, I knew what was up. I was being handed the title for a devotional book. Not only did I have a title, I had another entry rolling around in my head, and decided to grab paper and start jotting this stuff down before I could forget. Within 10 mins or less, I now had multiple titles for entries, and was trying to ‘place’ the one I was writing today, thinking that there were others to go before it. Funny thing is, today’s entry is now #12, but it’s in the book, just waiting to be typed and posted! Now, I’m pondering if I’m going to post the devotions here, on this blog, or if I should start a whole new one dedicated just to BELIEVE, and even as I typed that, I can see how dedicating it a blog all its own, or at least one for devotions, could be laid out. But until I have time to dedicate to laying that out, I think I’ll just post here in the meantime.
My hope, is that the entries will be fairly short and sweet, so that you all can spend more time pondering, meditating and encountering than you do reading. (unlike this posting!!) I hope, as many will, you’ll enjoy coming along for the ride!