Let’s Try This Again

Well, I’m back, at least I think I am. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve been here. I hope you all are doing well. It’s been a crazy couple of years. And as much as I thought I could write about life’s journey through thick and thin, I was wrong. Oh well.

As my dad would say, ‘You’ll have this’.on to GA

Now it’s time to start over. I’ll fill in on the journey along the way. First I need to go through this blog and revamp some of it. Much has changed, and continues to do so. So, as I sift through the pages here, I’m sure to find things I’ve written that need to be tweaked or sent off to cyber trash, wherever deleted items run off to once we hit that button. It also appears as if I need to relearn WordPress as some of this has changed while I was gone as well. I think I may make a new site as well for photos and the like, if I can find the pile that disappeared with a missing micro sd-card. Not so happy about that one. I was tripping over that tiny thing until I went to put it in the replacement phone when it arrived on Friday. When I least expect it, it will show up again, unless of course if the dog ate it. haha, not kidding about that one. He’s the newest addition and has been a bit of a handful. You’ll here about him soon enough.

In the meantime, blessings to all, and forgive any mess as this site begins some reconstruction, pretty much like my life…

Walking It Out – Part 3: Glitches and Backward Steps

In this whirlwind journey, which in the big picture has been nothing but something to celebrate, there are just moments that are harder than others. Multiple times, especially in the last several weeks, those harder moments and days (sometime hours.. sometimes daaayyyyysss) end up leading to life giving encounters as the One who loves us most steps in and shows His hands and things He’s been up to on our behalf. 

Once in a while, it seems, we just hit a few glitches, and maybe even get hung up on them. But as often as those times seem to come along, and it appears as if we’ve taken 2 steps forward and one big one back, it’s good to look and see, that we are still in forward motion. God is still God and God is still Good. Even when all we seem to be able to accomplish is crying, or feeling angry. This too shall pass… this too shall pass. And in the not too distant future, joy will reign supreme, the sky will be bright blue, and all will be ‘well with the world again’ and we’ll be the conquerors of the mountain yet one more time. 

So if today is one of ‘those’ days, where you’d really rather just sit down and quit…  don’t. This is but a blip on the radar of time… 🙂

Walking It Out

Wrote this Saturday evening.. very late. Too late to post.  But I’m going to leave it as it stands…

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I had decided early on with this blog, given the title, that I would do my best to be transparent and be real, even when things weren’t all awesome and amazing. Then this evening, I’ve been listening to a prophetic word, and part of it was telling others of your journey, including the processing, and not just the end tale of glory. Yes… we fail. Some days are just a bit tougher.

I’ve not really had much time for writing.. not even in my journal. It’s been a bit of a blessed whirlwind. I’ve already posted that I’ve gained a new son. That’s a positive! What I’m not sure I included, was that he’s also helping sort out, and route out some things from the past that have been buried or hidden, some I’m finding out, from a very long time ago.

It’s a process. Tonight it seems like a long process. There’s been this ebb and flow kind of thing with it for the last couple of months. Something is revealed, sometimes by confrontation, other’s by God just quietly pointing out a thought that needs to be captured and thrown down.

Tonight was a bit of a surprise.. actually there’s been a lot of those in the last couple of weeks. My son, who’s has the loving nickname of Doctor Bryan, had prescribed recently 20 hours of Graham Cooke teachings. Graham is good on identity stuff. I had gotten a couple off of Graham’s site a few days ago, that were available without cost.  I was listening to one of those.. pretty much for hours off and on. I wasn’t prepared for the ensuing encounters.

About midway in this audio, there’s a declaration made – the whole audio actually was a prophetic word or prayer. I’ve listened to this section no less than 15 times.. but I think it was more. Everytime I listen to it, I’m stunned. For just about a minute or two, the voice is different. It’s not Graham’s voice. But it’s a voice I know, a voice I’m intimately acquainted with. This is a voice I’ve been desperate to hear again. It is even the voice I trust above all others. It’s this last piece that’s doing me in.

I didn’t know the wells of pain in one’s soul could possibly run so deep. Actually, they started opening up last weekend. I knew it wasn’t done then, and to be honest, I don’t think it’s done now either. But I know this – the voice is God’s. And as I’m hearing Him say “I Will Win” 3 times over, and I’m recognizing His Voice, declaring, assuring, making His point, the tears flowed and the real crying lets loose. Wow, I can hardly believe I’m writing this for people to read.

I’ve had experiences with profound grief, and am now well acquainted with the rending of one’s heart – hurts like nothing else. This was sort of the same but different. Years of pain, and fear and many many prayers prayed started forcing their way out. I couldn’t see the road anymore even. When I got home.. I just let go and let it rip, sitting in the driveway, pretty much unable to move.

It’s been a long wait, most likely, longer than I was aware of. But that’s enough for now..

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Note: in the midst of the process, there’s also restoring and rebuilding going on!!! Will get to that in a later post..